


Un-mixy Things

by flaming_muse



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: April Showers Challenge, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-27
Updated: 2003-11-27
Packaged: 2017-10-18 08:03:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/186734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flaming_muse/pseuds/flaming_muse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike meets a new foe in the Summers' kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Un-mixy Things

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to my LJ on November 27, 2003.

At the sound of the front door opening, Xander dug for the remote between the couch cushions. Turning off the television, he twisted around to call out a greeting and instead had to bite his lip to keep from bursting out laughing.

Spike stood just inside the front door, his coat draped over his arm and held away from his body. He was splattered from head to toe with some sort of off-white sludge, and his eyes, blazing with irritation, were bright in the goopy mask of his face. He had obviously tried to wipe off whatever it was, and it had dried in messy smears across his skin and through his hair.

"I hear so much as one snicker out of you and I'll fill your tube of toothpaste with hemorrhoid cream," Spike said. He set his coat down on the floor.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Xander replied. He coughed to hide his grin. "What happened to you? Was there a demon attack? Are you hurt?"

"No demon. Just Dawn."

"Dawn? What - did she get mad and start to pelt you with... what is that, anyway?"

"Butter. Eggs. Flour. Sugar. Sodding imitation vanilla extract." Spike bent down to remove his boots. "Niblet wanted to bake cookies."

"Cookies?"

"Are you going to repeat everything I say? Yes. Cookies. She wanted to bake cookies so that her sister and Willow would have something to eat when they got back from patrol."

"What kind of cookies?" Xander asked. "And weren't you supposed to be patrolling with Buffy?"

"Chocolate chip, and, yes, I was, but Red wanted to try out her ball of sunlight spell, so I got Dawn-duty instead."

"So did you bring any home for me? I could go for some dessert."

Glaring at him, Spike let the boot he was holding drop heavily to the floor.

"Right, sorry. There's obviously a story," said Xander. "What happened?"

"There was an incident with the mixer."

"Was it possessed or something? 'Cause if power tools are next, I'd like to know."

"No. It wasn't possessed." Spike looked down at his flour-covered clothes and glowered. "But how was _I_ supposed to know that you shouldn't mix the dry ingredients into the wet on high speed? Do I look like Martha bloody Stewart?"

"Right now, you look more like the Pillsbury Dough Boy."

Spike's glare intensified.

"Sorry," Xander said. "So no cookies, huh?"

"By the time Dawn stopped laughing and we cleaned up the mess Buffy was home. Left her to try round two."

Xander flinched.

"Thanks for the warning," he said. "I'll have to remember to have the stomach flu tomorrow when I go to the Magic Box."

"Her cooking's that bad?" Spike carefully peeled off his t-shirt so that the flour-covered side ended up in the middle of the ball.

Xander was momentarily distracted by the sight of Spike's chest, but the shift in skin tone from marble pale shoulders to flour-smeared face yanked his thoughts away from the direction they were heading.

"No, Buffy's not that bad of a cook, but she'll end up eating half of the cookie dough and will feel guilty about it afterwards. Tomorrow she'll want to work out extra, and who gets to dress up in the big, padded suit, which does very little to block Slayer strength, thank you very much, while she tries to work off the extra calories that she'd be better off storing as fat? Yep, that's right, good ol' bruise-able Xander."

Spike frowned.

"Maybe I should get the flu, too," he said. "She'll pick me to spar with next."

"You're out of luck. Vampires can't get the flu. And you won't even get to wear the puffy suit."

"Could pretend to have some sort of demon virus, but then Rupert would probably want to snot samples. Guess I'll have to skip tomorrow's Scooby meeting."

"No way, buster. If the rest of us have to deal with post-cookie guilt, you have to be there too."

Spike dropped his free hand to his waistband and began to fiddle with the buttons of his jeans.

"Want to help me out here, Xan?" he asked.

Usually not one to ignore such a summons, Xander somehow managed to keep himself from springing over the back of the couch to strip Spike out of the rest of his clothing.

"Nuh uh. You won't distract me that easily," he said. "You're covered in raw eggs and flour. It won't taste good."

"Oh, I've got something that'd taste good." Spike smirked and let his fingers trail down his fly.

"We'll see about that after you take a shower. And you still have to go to the Scooby meeting tomorrow."

Spike's shoulders slumped.

"Well, at least it won't be all fun and games for you, either," he said. "If you've got the flu you won't be able to eat any pizza while we're there. Or Dawn's cookies."

"After what happened with you, I don't think I'll want to try them," Xander said. "You've seen Dawn make pancakes. Did you really think her cookies would turn out better?"

"What was I supposed to do? Say no? You're a stronger man than I if you can break her heart like that."

"I guess. You still could've sabotaged it."

Spike looked pointedly at the sticky shirt in his hand.

"Right. Guess you kind of did that already. Maybe you should have stuck around to ruin the second batch."

"Thought it was best to get out of there while I could," Spike said, crouching down to rummage through his coat pocket. A dollop of dough dripped out of his hair and landed with a splat on his shoulder. He scowled at it. "Besides, I thought you might like a treat."

Xander walked over to see what Spike was holding out to him.

"You stole Dawn's chocolate chips?" he asked. He took the bag and turned it over so he could see the label. "Oh, semi-sweet, and the good kind, too."

"We threw out the first batch of dough, so there were extra chips. Let me take a shower before this stuff turns into cement, and then you can thank me properly for them."

Xander tore open the bag and inhaled the delicious aroma of chocolate.

"You definitely deserve a thank you for this."

Spike grinned and stepped around him.

"Don't eat too much. I don't want to have to pry you from the ceiling when I get out. And no bouncing off of the walls, either."

"Hey, I don't bounce. I just get extra enthusiastic," Xander said, grabbing a handful of chips.

"Can't complain about that. Have some more."

Mouth filled with chocolate, Xander made shooing motions toward the bathroom door.

"Hurry up, then," he mumbled around the chips.

"Keep your shirt on," Spike said. He smirked. "On second thought..."

Xander glanced at the recipe on the back of the package.

"God, these are good. D'you think we have enough eggs to make a batch of cookies?" he asked.

Spike groaned and fled into the bathroom.


End file.
